He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he puts the penis in happiness.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
