I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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