the day after is always just damage control
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
