I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
