There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Couch. On fire.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
