Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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