Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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