An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
