I must be too annoying 4 u.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
