You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
