this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
