i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
