you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
