there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Who died my cat blue again?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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