if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
