Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
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