His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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