You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
