I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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