I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
