He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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