do herpes really smell.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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