well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize