No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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