I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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