Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
