i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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