I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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