How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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