I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
