You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
