Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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