If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
