I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
