I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
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