He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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