That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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