I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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