You can't motorboat a personality
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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