I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
