My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
