Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
