i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My ATM looks so different sober.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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