I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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