What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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