So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
