at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
