new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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