sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Randomize
