CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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